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JISHOU, HUNAN — Riddle me this, Steve Jobs. Why is my dead iPod Shuffle once again working properly, after two years of sitting unused in a desk drawer?
Two years ago this fall, my iPod stopped holding a charge. I would charge it up, even overnight, and within minutes of using it would go dead again. Finally, I chucked it into a desk drawer and bought a new music player in disgust.
Well, that drawer had turned into a junk pile, so yesterday I had some spare time and decided to clean it out.
Before tossing stuff out, I like to see if it really is fubar’d. My deceased Palm Treo 680 is now even deader than before, if that’s possible. The phone ignores the charger entirely – not even a lit LED to show it’s connected. Then, I tried charging the iPod, once from the USB connection and once from the AC charger. I got the same result: the iPod acted liked it was fully charged already.
WTF?
So, I fired up iTunes, and loaded some music onto the Shuffle. And guess what? The danged thing has been playing music through my speakers since yesterday morning — not continuously, but the way it’s supposed to.
I know I shouldn’t look a gift horse in the mouth, but what gives here? Does my bottom desk drawer have magical restorative powers? And if it does, why couldn’t it also revive my Treo? (No loss there, really.) Or does leaving your iPod alone for two years in the dark make it lonely and desperate for your attention?
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JISHOU, HUNAN — I’m old enough to remember when vampires were scary, the kind of guys no girl would want to hang out with — unless they really wanted to be both ravished and undead.
Now teenage girls swoon over the impossibly sensitive and chaste modern-day vampire guys, who swear off human blood and suck only animal blood. I am surprised PETA doesn’t get on this flagrant abuse of helpless animals, but the animal control folks are tickled pink, I bet.
 Bela Lugosi as Dracula The vampires I grew up with (not literally, mind you) were all versions of the ghoulish Count Dracula from the novel by Bram Stoker — not very pleasant at all.
They couldn’t stand sunlight, which could kill them. So they only moved about by night. None of this new-age sparkly effects we see nowadays.
They without exception attacked only humans for their blood. Any sex would do, but Dracula in the movies seemed to have a taste for the ladies. And of course the victims, once bitten, would also become vampires. (The sexual connotations here are pretty obvious, but alas lost in today’s abstinence-only vampire ethos. How bloody dull.)
They were technically undead, neither alive nor dead, but somewhere in between. Of course, they were immortal. And creepy. Unlike bon vivant immortals like The Highlander or dashing and glib, yet strangely shy Edward, vampires just suck the life out of a party. If they had any social skills at all while alive, centuries of walking around at night biting people in the neck pretty much burned those skills out.
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JISHOU, HUNAN — The Muslim haters in the USA are now up in arms about Campbell’s marketing soups that are halal — halal is to Muslims what kosher is to Jews.
They believe that the evul Mooslims have infiltrated Campbell’s (and Kellogg’s, it seems) to sell halal food in preparation for some imagined large scale Mooslim takeover of the US of A.
Raving lunatic Pamela Geller (of anti-”megamosque” at “Ground Zero” fame) is encouraging a boycott of Campbell’s. Considering she has maybe 100 or so loyal followers — and that’s being generous — I doubt Campbell’s will much care.
Apparently, in their conspiracy-plagued minds, Geller, Robert Spencer and other wackjobs, if you connect the dots, somehow offering halal foods to American shoppers somehow translates into aiding and abetting terrorists and an Islamic takeover of the US legal system.
I buy halal hotdogs in my local supermarket here in Jishou, mostly to avoid eating yet more pork. (They are labeled “Muslim food,” so maybe they are not officially halal.) So, if we follow the “logic” of Geller, et alia, Jishou will soon be a satellite state of the Taliban, or something.
How long has kosher food been sold in the USA? As a wild guess, I’d say at least a century. Last I checked, the US has not yet become another Jewish state. Although as the on-air rants of former CNN anchor Rick Sanchez demonstrates, some people would say the verdict is still out on that possibility.
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[UPDATE: More late breaking unintentional humor from the O'Donnell hour: her dad was once a part-time Bozo the Clown in Philly. I am thinking of apples falling from trees here. ]
JISHOU, HUNAN — My favorite bloggers have been having a field day with the Republican Senatorial candidate from Delaware, Christine O’Donnell. The woman is a veritable treasure trove of nonsense.
There are two of her gems I can’t help but ridicule.
China has a secret plan to take over the USA. And she knows all about it, because an unnamed non-profit organization gave O’Donnell the complete low down. Apparently, missionaries working with this mysterious group uncovered this top-secret plot.
In the linked AP article, O’Donnell says this:
“A country that forces women to have abortions and mandates that you can only have one child and will not allow you the freedom to read the Bible, you think they can be our friend?” she asked. “We have to look at our history and realize that if they pretend to be our friend it’s because they’ve got something up their sleeve.”
Wrong, wrong and wrong. China does not force women to have abortions. But abortions are easier to get here than in the USA, so some women may choose to get one. China does saddle couples with financial penalties, threatens them with losing jobs and promotions, and stigmatize them if they have more than one kid, but I know a lot of families who have more than one child even under the one-child policy.
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JISHOU, HUNAN — Apparently you can heal the sick and cast out demons with an iPhone.
As a Nokia e63 user, I am vaguely jealous.
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JISHOU, HUNAN — According to former Alaska governor Sarah Palin, Arizona Governor Jan Brewer has what President Obama doesn’t — balls — because Brewer dealt directly with the state’s illegal immigration problem.
Since “balls” is too rude a word for such a God-fearing woman as Señora Palin to use, she instead used the Spanish slang, “cojones.” Or maybe she was trying to show off how street-wise she is. After all, Obama used “Sí, se puede,” during his campaign.
Of course, Obama was trying to appeal to potential supporters who speak Spanish natively. Palin used Spanish slang to criticize Obama’s supposed inability to deal with undocumented Spanish-speaking immigrants.
Was she even aware of the irony? Or the fact that Obama, as a man, is more likely to literally have cojones than Brewer (a woman, btw)? Or was she trying to make a joke? I doubt it.
Here’s what she said on air Sunday, referring to the controversial Arizona state law SB 1070:
Palin said on “Fox News Sunday” that Arizona’s female Republican governor has “the cojones that our president does not” when it comes to securing America‘s borders.
“This is a temporary suspension of some of the key elements in the law that Jan Brewer pushed hard for Arizonans and for the rest of the country to have the result of us being more secure,” said Palin.
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JISHOU, HUNAN — Now Biblical literalism has spilled over into reading the Constitution literally. A religious group called the Faith and Freedom Institute is complaining because President Barack Obama has used the words “freedom of worship” instead of “freedom of religion.”
They sent him a letter. I predict it ends up in the trash. See for yourself:
Dear President Obama:
It is with great concern that we have watched your rhetorical shift in terminology, choosing to use the phrase “freedom of worship” rather than “freedom of religion.” We’ve noted your use of that phrase (“freedom of worship”) at the Ft. Hood memorial service in November of 2009, as well as your utilization of the same during speeches in Japan and China.
While some may deem the words “worship” and “religion” to be synonymous, and thus interchangeable, they are most definitely not! The First Amendment of the United States Constitution uses the word “religion” and states unequivocally that Congress cannot prohibit the “free exercise” of said “religion.” Your use of the word “worship” implies that we have freedom ONLY within the confines of structures set aside for religious expression (i.e. churches, synagogues, etc.). This is not only a gross departure from the original intent of the First Amendment, but is also the first step toward eliminating faith expression in the public marketplace (i.e. display of religious symbols on public land, printing of religious materials for the purpose of evangelizing, public discussion of faith, etc.).
Mr. President, we call on you to retract all past use of this incorrect and misleading phrase, “freedom of worship,” and cease all future use of the same. We also call on you to acknowledge America’s Christian heritage as is clearly evidenced in our Founding Documents and the overwhelming abundance of statements from our Founding Fathers.
Sincerely,
The Faith and Freedom Institute
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