Monkeys rewrite the King James Bible

CHONGQING — Well, not literally, but pretty close. Via DailyKos, I learned today that Conservapedia (the Bizarro version of Wikipedia) intends to take the King James Bible and rewrite it into plain modern English, making sure the new version has no “liberal bias.”

The Conservative Bible will be a wiki, so it will be a group project, rather like giving a large group of monkeys enough time and equipment to recreate the works of William Shakespeare.

The rationale and methodology of this ill-conceived project piece of crap are so wrong on so many levels that’s it’s hard to know where to begin.

The King James Version (1611) was an English translation from the Hebrew, Latin and Greek texts then available, done entirely by members of the Church of England. It became the “standard Bible” among English-speaking Protestants, largely because of its poetic language and of the breadth of the British Empire.

Conservapedia’s head simians plan to retranslate the English in the KJV translation, which is a lot like playing “Telephone” with the Scriptures. Dumb, dumb, dumb.

There’s nothing wrong with retranslating the Bible. It’s been done dozens of times already. But the new versions start from the original texts, not the KJV. For example, the New International Version (which apparently is too liberal for the monkeys at Conservapedia) was a joint project of 100 scholars in several different countries and different churches, who referred to texts and archaelogical evidence that were unknown 400 years ago. The complete NIV Bible came out in 1978.

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The lies of “noseparation.org” and the Christian Nation-ists

JISHOU, HUNAN — I got a bee in my bonnet about the Christian Nation billboards that I heard are all over the Tampa-St. Pete area. My post turned out to be so long that I made it a page. You can read it here.

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How rumors get started …

JISHOU, HUNAN — When George Washington resigned his commission as commander of the Continental Army in 1783, he sent a short letter to the 13 governors of the former colonies. Many years hence, part of his letter was plagiarized to create a spurious document, “Washington’s Prayer,” which is now bouncing around the Intertubes.

You see, some people are trying to convince us that the Founding Fathers were all Bible-thumping, Trinitarian, fundamentalist Christians, and that therefore, the USA is a “Christian Nation.” For the most part, the Founding Fathers were not any of the above. Lacking any supporting evidence in the US Constitution and US legal code, historical revisionists grasp at straws to puff up their claims.

Here are the last three paragraphs of the actual document.

Circular Letter Addressed to the Governors of all the States on the Disbanding of the Army, June 14, 1783

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